mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dick very happy bro
The adults are the big ones right?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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