trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
