I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Drake has all the answers
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
