physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
