I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
