We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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