did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize