discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
