I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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