that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
