why didn't you poke me back
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
