Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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