Having a random hookup so left but love u
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize