i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Randomize