I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
