My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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