I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
