so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
