are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
