I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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