haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
