Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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