Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
