i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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