we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
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Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
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She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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