I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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