Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
