Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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