what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
