I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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