are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
