I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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