I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
