Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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