the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom