I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
