OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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