Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
