So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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