You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
