How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
