I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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