My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
