i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize