I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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