What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
