Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
