First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
