I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
