I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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