She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
