All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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