yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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