i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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