after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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