how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
