Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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