I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Come on in and take your pants off
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