It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
