i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
