What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize