Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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