And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
