Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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