and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
