Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize