You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
