Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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