dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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