We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
